The Journey Begins

I have gone through life with quite a bit to say but have not always felt heard - hence Shut Up! I'm Talking.

Those who know me well know that life hasn't always been the greatest, in fact some times I have just wanted to get off the roller coaster and never get back on again.   I have had my fair share of struggles and even though I would like to say that I thank my mother for always telling me that "what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger" I don't think that's entirely true.  In fact some days I would have preferred nothing more than to just run away and start a life somewhere else - of course it would be somewhere tropical - with a cabana boy, a tall, dark, muscular....oh sorry.

And here I am - 41 years of age and in a place that is strange and unusual for me.  It's like an uncharted desert.  It's called....are you sitting down?  Getting Healthy.

Four months ago, I decided that I had been a slave to cigarettes for far too long and with the help of some really great people (you know who you are) I have managed to quit smoking.  It was during this time that I realized a lot of things about myself.

1. The damage from smoking for almost 27 years will not be undone in one night, or one month, or even one year.
2. Patience is not something I possess very gracefully.
3. I REALLY like instant gratification.
4. I don't ask for help.  Even when I am on my knees I don't ask.
5. Four months ago, I honestly didn't believe that I would actually quit smoking.
6. I need to discover who I am as a non-smoker, emotionally, mentally and physically.
7. I want to be healthy.
8. If I work at it - I really can accomplish anything. 

I don't journal anymore so I thought I would get out of the 2000and late category and perhaps try out this blogging.  See how it goes.  So get in, hold on and Shut Up! I'm Talking.